Stumbling through his teens. Becoming an entertainer to make a living. Gaining popularity in his 20s. This is how Kim Dongwan has spent his last 10 years as a member of Korean's longest-running idol group. He has grown from a naive trainee to an accomplished singer/actor in these 10 years, and having just released his 2nd solo album, he is due to enlist for the army this year. Kim Dongwa talks to us about his 20s and Shinhwa's 10 years.
t: You just had your first performance for your 2nd solo album, how did you feel?
DW: I was more nervous than I was for the 1st album. I feel more pressure. The title track this time is a dance track, and I'm not much of a dancer to start with. Even at the moment before I stepped up on stage, I was still asking myself if this was right for me. At that point Jinnie, who was also on the same show, encouraged me and cheered me on, that's how I managed to get through with the performance.
t: But Shinhwa has always been known for their impressive stage performances, and here you are saying that you can't dance (laughs). The choreography for your title track Bi Mil (Secret) looks less complicated than Shinhwa's dances.
DW: Me and Hyesungie are always fighting to be the worst dancer in Shinhwa. Singing Bi Mil and dancing at the same time, it's really difficult. For Shinhwa, we're always practicing and the 6 of us are dancing together so it's not too bad, but to be honest, it's been very tough for me for 9 years.
"Actually I'm a little chauvinistic. I show it through music."t: People's opinions of Kim Dongwan seem to differ from what you think of yourself. For the song 사이키스 (Psy Kiss), some people said the melody sounded similar to trot. Even some of your fans asked, "What happened to Kim Dongwan?" (laughs)
DW: That was actually one of the songs shortlisted to be the title track. (laughs) I wanted to do something completely different. But people who don't like this would probably say something like "What's up with this?", so I decided against it. Althought this song doesn't quite fit in with the other songs on the album, but I like it. Maybe I'm getting older. (laughs)"
t: So you're saying that you'd like to do what you want.
DW: Yes, I want to try working on music that I like. Honestly speaking, in my 1st solo album, I wasn't really sure of what I wanted and what I wanted people to hear, so I tried out everything. But this time round I did what I wanted to, so in the 2nd album you can hear more of a live band arrangement for most of the songs.
t: Especially on your vocal style. You had more of a polished style for the 1st album, but for the 2nd album there's a feeling of raw power.
DW: During the 1st album I'd stop singing if my voice was hoarse, this time round I'd still sing even if that's the case. Actually I ended up liking this style more. Especially on A Man's Love, I specially sang it with a hoarse voice.
t: We're all curious as to how you're really like. In A Man's Love, there's a line that goes something like "No one really knows a man's heart/He dies holding someone/That day he smiled", is that the way it is now? (laughs)
DW: I'd only be that way to the woman I love. I'm a little of a male chauvinist, but I don't mean it in the sense of belittling women. That's something only bad guys do. It's more of a way of life. Although it might be the same for women, but men tend to hide their emotions and try to get on with life. That shows in my music, because that's how I live.
"I seem to become an ahjosshi when I'm doing my solo activities"
t: What is it that you have to hide? You once talked about your thoughts on the movie "If I Was Superman", you said Jeon Ji Hyun "played the character of a female PD who tries her best in all her programmes in order to survive very well."
DW: Male PDs seem to have a knife hidden in their hearts (meaning that they are aggressive but they would put on a front) But they would put on a smile and try to get along with everyone. Female PDs tend to be more serious and they don't really show their humorous side. I think they are trying to show their strength because they believe that's their key to survival. That's my opinion.
t: Do you carrry a knife in your heart too?
DW: Of course, I can be an angel in front of people I really dislike, but sometimes I wonder to myself when I'd be able to stab him with the knife. In the entertainment world, I've suffered many insults, especially during the time I was filming the drama. I thought of giving up acting then. But I gritted my teeth and persisted anyway. My motto since high school has been "If you can't even tolerate this as a man, you might as well be dead." I think one's tolerance level is directly related to the level of success he achieves.
t: But don't you feel worse as you try to tolerate more?
DW: I rationalize too much. Because I'm an entertainer, I can't act this way. Because I'm kind, I can't act this way. I'd be asked not to make mistakes. But to be frank, one would make mistakes even during a break. Even so, the members will help me out. I would feel that I have to put up with something, but then Eric would tell me to let it all out. Having people like him around helps me a lot.
t: Shinhwa's Kim Dongwan is a very fun-loving guy, is the solo Kim Dongwan like that too?
DW: As part of Shinhwa, I'd go about the activities without worrying much, but it's the opposite for the solo Kim Dongwan. As part of Shinhwa, it feels like i'm having fun with my friends, but I seem to become an ahjosshi during my solo activities because I can truly feel the reality of it all.
"I'd like to lead an ordinary life during military service."
t: Reality of it all?
DW: The fact that I'm getting older, and my status as an entertainer.
t: Was it the same for you when you made your acting debut? I heard that you were under a lot of pressure when Spin Kick didn't do well at the box office. It must have been very different from your experience with Shinhwa.
DW: There was really a lot of pressure. I picked up drinking and smoking after quitting it for 5 years. I hoped that everyone could see a different side of me, but that didn't happen. I didn't act in any more dramas after The Person I Love, because I want to be able to show a completely different side of me when I do return to acting. And not just in terms of appearance, but in terms of being able to let the audience identify with me.
t: What stresses you out most about performing?
DW: As a teenager, I had the opportunity to experience everything earlier than most people, and that helped me a great deal in terms of performing in my 20s. However I haven't been able to live a normal life since I hit my 20s. So I hope that I can lead an ordinary life during my military service. I'd like to see what I've become after experiencing so much.
t: Maybe that's why you seem to be enjoying a break after 10 years. I've seen your diary entries, you no longer seem to expressing your opinions so strongly anymore. You sound more relaxed and at peace.
DW: That's true. When I write, I'm as peaceful as when I'm fishing. 3 to 4 years ago, I would be writing about social problems, but I don't do that anymore. My focus is more on my own life now.
t: Have you also changed your opinion about Shinhwa too? Your perspective seems to be different when you were active as Shinhwa.
DW: On the whole, Shinhwa completely belongs to us now. During the SM days, Shinhwa was a 100% manufactured group, but now at least 90% come from ourselves. To me now Shinhwa is... I used to say that it's everything, now it's not anymore. Shinhwa's still family to me, but there is also more than that to life.
t: Now that you're all having your own solo careers, do you feel that it's a pity that Shinhwa isn't as active as before? The fans are still waiting eagerly to see Shinhwa's performances. The title track for the 9th jib is a dance track, won't you be performing that on programmes?
DW: It's not just because of our solo activities that we're not going on programmes. In fact, I'm also worried that it's so difficult to be as active as before as a group. We will need a lot of time to be able to have that many activities, but each of us can't afford that much time, and we have to consider things from a commercial perspecitve. We'd rather perform for the fans during concerts. There are many restrictions on TV programmes, and if we wanted to make a group appearance we'd have to turn up on many programmes, not just a few. So we chose to concentrate on our concert rehearsals instead.
t: Does Shinhwa also signify something different now? I've always felt that Shinhwa is a group that works hard for the fans, and not to gain popularity.
DW: Some people say that idols are just making money off the fans. But it's really something to be able to survive because of the fans. If we're purely using the fans to make money then we'd be really bad guys, but we work hard for them. They're the ones who give us their undivided attention when we're on stage, and they're the ones who shower us with love. We want to be on the same side with the fans, since we're an idol group after all. It might be boring to be a group that everyone likes, so we hope to be a group that people like from time to time, but they'd be happy each time they see us. We want to be able to like ourselves and for the fans to love us too.
t: What's the next step for you and Shinhwa then?
DW: It will be great if Shinhwa can stand on stage together and carry on holding concerts. We would be back together again latest by the time we're 35, and we should be able to carry on performing after that. For me, I've spent too much time worrying during my 20s. I didn't know what people expected out of me, so I tried my hand at everything. Now I have a clearer idea as to what's expected of me and what I'm good at. Although some people might laugh, but now that I'm stepping into my 30s, life has just begun.
t: What kind of relationship would you hope to have with the fans who have stayed with you for the past 10 years, and who are most likely to continue supporting you in future?
DW: A relationship of complete trust. I said something like that during my 1st volume. I've also said before that people who give me constructive criticism are better than people who like everything about me unconditionally, and that I hated it when I was obviously doing something wrong and yet people still cheer me on. But now I like people who support me all the way, that's because I understand myself now and I know what I should be doing. If you don't like me or the things I do, just don't attend my performances or visit my site (laughs). Now I like people who cheer me on.
Source: magzint&oceans
Chi trans: jojoyu7@shinhwachina
Eng trans: midnightgirl13@shinhwabiz
__________________
